Affair with my pillow

Since Jack has left, I have been using the phrase "I am going to have an affair with my pillow" to mean that I am going to go to bed. It makes sense...my pillow is soft and makes me feel comfortable. PLUS....for some reason when I say it I end up having dreams about Jack! How awesome is that? I love meeting up with him in my dreams. I mean, I would rather meet up with him in person, but I know I have to share him with the people of the world. (And to think that I call myself self....as if!)

I asked around last night to my friends whose husbands have deployed before if it was normal to want to get into bed at like 8. They all said "sure is!" That made me feel much better. (Side note...did not get into bed at 8...more like 930.)

Tough choice

I had to make a tough choice this afternoon. Jack sent me a text/email telling me that he was on IM and could I meet him online. I really, really wanted to, but I was at work and already had a committment that takes priority over everything else. So, I had to tell Jack that I was sorry, but I was unable to chat today. It killed me, but even though he is away, my life has to go on and I need my job to keep me busy. I did however, tell the person I had the committment with that my husband was deployed and if he calls, I am taking the call...regardless if it is against the rules or not. She understood.
I hate having to make tough decisions like these.

Toughest time

So far, I have been really feeling good about this deployment. I have had my moments of "a year is a fucking long time" but I have a journal I keep by my side to right in and those moments pass. Many people say that the toughest time of day for them during a deployment is at nighttime. Of course, I have to be different and the nights are not bothering me so much. I have accepted that Jack will not be home at night and I move on. It means I can play online or watch whatever I want on TV. The toughest time for me is between the hours of 7am and 3pm. Why? Because of the time difference, I know that Jack is awake during those times and I wait for a text, email, call or IM from him. (By waiting, I don't mean that I am sitting doing nothing. I mean that everytime my cell phone goes off, I grab it because it might be him.) Once 3pm hits, I know that the chances of him calling me are slim because he is getting ready to go to sleep for the night. Thankfully, I am working between those hours (or getting ready for work) so I can stay busy.

Cross that one off!

Well, I have another goal that I completed last night. I signed up for Wine of the Month club. I know, I know...how can going to a website and entering personal information be considered completing a goal? The way I see it, I need some easy goals to feel the satisfaction of crossing them off the list. I guess now I really need to hit the gym, right? LOL!

By the way, I have an awesome dog (picture will follow when I have the time to figure out how to add them to posts.) He sleeps on the bed with me everynight which is nice because I can't still all the covers (which would remind me that Jack is not in the bed with me.) And, this morning, I was coming up the stairs and he was ahead of me and he waited for me to get to the landing before he continued. It was cute. I think he to is adjusting to Jack not being here. Jack filled up his dog bowl right before he left and I just had to refill it last night before bed. I guess I should have had a goal list for him too...EAT. LOL!

Goals are funny!

Well, as I said, I had a list of goals that I planned before Jack left and I was able to cross one off...that was creating a blog. I was reviewing my list and I had written, "eat healthy". I said (yes, out loud even though the only person in the house is the dog who is not even in this room) "that goal should have just been EAT!"

I also have listed under goals:

• Finish Lifeguarding/ CPR certification (who says 32 is to old to be a lifeguard.)
• Learn to Scuba Drive (really want to do this...but I may not. Especially because my best friend went yesterday and got stung bad by Jellyfish...something I happen to be allergic to!)
• Re-do the kitchen in red/chile pepper theme (only because we already have the chile pepper towels and pot holders. I cheat!)
• Hit the gym 3 at least 3 times a week. (No seriously....this is one I need to do!)
• Join the library book club AND attend the meetings (because just joining is as easy as signing my name to a list...its going that I have to do!)
• Eat Healthy (see above)
• Join Wine of the Month Club (yup....that helps with eating healthy...at least I will get my fruit, right?)
• Train and complete a 5K. (I am going to have to start on this one soon. I can't even run to the end of my driveway...which by the way is a little longer then 2 car lengths.)
• Work on Jack's Valentine Day Present. (Sorry, can't tell more. No, its not dirty..its just that if he looks at this blog, I dont want to give it away.)

First time for everything

Okay...so this is my first post ever on a blog. I may need to ask some of you for help to make it actually work. Sorry if this page looks like crap today.

So anyways, I am day 3 into a deployment and starting a blog was one of my goals for while Jack is away so here it is. I can cross this off my list. Whooohooo!

I am going to use this blog to vent, to WTF is wrong with people, to laugh, etc. Check back often.

For my laugh from yesterday:
Jack calls from Kuwait. I tell him I am getting a haircut. Just to let him know that I am not sitting home and wailing in self pity. His response? "Do you want me to call you back?" Ummm...NO! You are 7000 miles away and about to fight a war and you think that I am gonna chose a haircut over talking to you? I love him and even though he is off to war, he still puts me first. And even though he is off to war, I am still laughing at him. Opps!